Song Parodies: The Genius of Weird Al Yankovich // Woman Raises $233,000 to Give 90-year-old Veteran Option to Retire // Bill Gates’ Daughter Phoebe Is Dating Paul McCartney’s Grandson Arthur // Mega Stars at McCartney's Party

JOKE

How do cows stay up to date? They read the Moo-spaper.

GRATEFULNESS

• I am grateful today for no commute to work
• I am grateful for the lushness of my lawn.
• I am grateful for Yeti – great coffee mugs, great bottles

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS

• — Filmmaker/comedian Mel Brooks in 1926 (age 96)
• — Actor Pat Morita in 1932
• — Former CIA Director/Defense Secretary Leon Panetta in 1938 (age 84)
• — Comedian Gilda Radner in 1946
• — Actor Kathy Bates in 1948 (age 74)
• — Actor Alice Krige in 1954 (age 68)
• — Football Hall of Fame member John Elway in 1960 (age 62)
• — Actor John Cusack in 1966 (age 56)
• — Actor Mary Stuart Masterson in 1966 (age 56)

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ENTERTAINMENT AND NON-POLITICAL HEADLINES

• Jimmy Kimmel Marveled at Star-Studded Paul McCartney Party
• Marilyn Monroe’s House Is Made a Los Angeles Landmark in Council Vote
• Bill Gates’ Daughter Phoebe Is Dating Paul McCartney’s Grandson Arthur

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THE GOOD NEWS

Woman Raises $233,000 to Give 90-year-old Veteran Still Working in the Heat the Option to Retire

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WHAT’S EATING CALE

The Way Some People’s Brains Work

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